Hi Jenna, this is exceptional writing - the way you cut through stereotypes and TV caricatures to examine what authentic masculine brotherhood actually means is both insightful and necessary. Your observation about the “unspokenness” that forms the deepest bonds really captures something profound about how men connect and support each other.
What strikes me most is how you’ve identified something that goes beyond individual men to the broader cultural fabric. As someone who’s lived through these changes since the 1960s, I share your concern about what we’ve lost. The brotherhood you describe was once sustained by the very communities that have been fracturing - the small towns where men worked together, worshipped together, and knew each other’s families. When neighborhoods were actual communities, when extended families stayed close, when faith provided common ground and shared values.
The “esprit de corps” you mention thrived in contexts we’ve systematically dismantled - local civic organizations, church communities, multi-generational families living near each other. Men learned to be men in the company of other men who had stakes in their success, not just as individuals but as fathers, neighbors, and community members.
Your writing gets at something essential: that American strength has always depended on these invisible bonds between men who shared not just geography but genuine investment in each other’s wellbeing. When those ties weaken, we all feel it.
Thank you for tackling this difficult subject with such thoughtfulness and clarity.
You're right. We've strayed from our foundation and became lost. And we are searching for a path towards purpose, meaning, and fulfillment in every place but the one waiting for us -- right in front of us all this time. Thank you for sharing a profound quote from one of the very greatest teachers. Thanks for your insight!
I think the merging of the sexes began with the British Invasion in the late ‘60’s. Men’s fashions became feminized, hair styles merged, male make-up commonplace. Women’s Lib coerced men to abandon masculinity.
Many people, like you, are realizing that two distinct sexes can be not only be compatible but desirable.
You have an amazing talent to delve into a cornucopia of different subject matter & make each interesting. Regarding this particular essay, it is my opinion that many ‘media people’ (the so called experts, intellectuals, Hollywood etc.) lack ’family values.’ Have you ever noticed in the plot of many books, most movies & television shows — when the drama calls for a crisis or death situation there are rarely ‘family members’ in the scene’? I don’t believe this observation, if correct, is a positive example for men or families. And yet, this what the public experiences. One of your many excellent commentators, Mark Dowell, stated the issue well: “The “esprit de corps” you mention thrived in contexts we’ve systematically dismantled… Men learned to be men in the company of other men who had stakes in their success, not just as individuals but as fathers, neighbors, and community members.” Mr. Dowel’s statement is accurate & perfectly noted. We should all strive to set a good example — especially men.
Thank you Jenna, please keep up the great work — you matter.
Hi Jenna & Noah, I appreciate how Jenna’s writing is memorable and thought-provoking.
My next comment is outside the scope of Jenna’s piece, but I believe it relates to her broader point about the brotherhood of men - specifically how our society treats boys.
If we’re concerned about men learning to be men “in the company of other men,” we need to ask: what happens when boys aren’t allowed to be boys? When natural boyhood behaviors are increasingly pathologized, medicated, or discouraged? When the very traits that might lead to healthy masculine development - physical energy, risk-taking, competitive spirit, rough play - are systematically suppressed?
The erosion of male mentorship and community that Jenna describes so well may be compounded by our failure to nurture authentic masculinity from the beginning. Boys who aren’t permitted to develop naturally into young men will struggle to form the kinds of bonds and brotherhood that strengthen communities.
How boys are raised directly impacts the men they become - and therefore the strength of that “esprit de corps” Jenna writes about. It’s a topic worth exploring further. Thanks, Mark
Very good thoughts here, Mark. My oldest is almost four years old and it’s surprisingly hard to find “modern” books/stories that illustrate these more masculine virtues for boys. And I’m much more afraid of how he’ll meet society and culture when he enters the adult world than my daughter. There seems to be more complex things confronting kids now and equipping them with the tools to navigate this world is so important. Thank you, Mark.
The Bible is my foundation and always shapes all of my worldview. This subject you write about today is, to me, yet another symptom of the spiritual emptiness and darkness we are in presently. We don't have our priorities straight. The apostle Paul gave us the prescription in Ephesians 5:21-33, and while this is a rather long passage I will quote from the NLT translation, it is all worthy of our attention:
"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.
31 As the Scriptures say, 'A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.' 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
It's amazing to me that we keep looking for "answers" in every single place except the one right in front of us. Over and over again. Thank you for reminding me of where to look first.
You had me at the opening line of this piece, then pulled me right through. Jenna, this an echo chamber I enjoy being in. Further more, I watched 2hrs of The Deer Hunter last night. One more hr to go tonight. Steel mill towns, the men and woman of our country that do the dirty work and their families who share the suffering. Thank
I'm so glad you connected with this, Donald. And that you're watching The Deer Hunter, a film that is overlooked these day but still represents a large part of working class America today. Thank you for reading (it's a slog!) and I appreciate your thoughts and taking the time to share them.
I don’t know how to get back the brotherhood, integrity, and reverence among men, that you’re speaking of. I hear so often from women, “Men are simple creatures,” and I wonder why that spills off their tongues so readily. Okay, for the 100th time, okay. So’s a guitar, but say that to Andrés Segovia or Jim Hall. What absolution do these women seek for seeming compelled to “like” men again, after a decade of dumping on them? Okay, well, I’ve taken this a step beyond what I’d originally intended. I always like that scene, “This is This,” named my magazine after it, because “this ain’t something else,” meaning, some values aren’t debatable, like killing a deer in one shot: some values are inalienably right and worthy.
Men are around all right; but, the left has actively disparaged men, and now they are discouraged. The way back is for men to return to God, who restores a sense of worth and the strength to do the right thing. this is a wonderful column, Jenna!
Hi Jenna, this is exceptional writing - the way you cut through stereotypes and TV caricatures to examine what authentic masculine brotherhood actually means is both insightful and necessary. Your observation about the “unspokenness” that forms the deepest bonds really captures something profound about how men connect and support each other.
What strikes me most is how you’ve identified something that goes beyond individual men to the broader cultural fabric. As someone who’s lived through these changes since the 1960s, I share your concern about what we’ve lost. The brotherhood you describe was once sustained by the very communities that have been fracturing - the small towns where men worked together, worshipped together, and knew each other’s families. When neighborhoods were actual communities, when extended families stayed close, when faith provided common ground and shared values.
The “esprit de corps” you mention thrived in contexts we’ve systematically dismantled - local civic organizations, church communities, multi-generational families living near each other. Men learned to be men in the company of other men who had stakes in their success, not just as individuals but as fathers, neighbors, and community members.
Your writing gets at something essential: that American strength has always depended on these invisible bonds between men who shared not just geography but genuine investment in each other’s wellbeing. When those ties weaken, we all feel it.
Thank you for tackling this difficult subject with such thoughtfulness and clarity.
Thank you for your generous words, Mark. You always bring another layer of insight and wisdom. I appreciate it very much.
"Something happened to the American belief in men for which I don’t have an answer."
I think that great Russian zek, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, hit it right on the head: Men have forgotten God; that’s why all this has happened.
You're right. We've strayed from our foundation and became lost. And we are searching for a path towards purpose, meaning, and fulfillment in every place but the one waiting for us -- right in front of us all this time. Thank you for sharing a profound quote from one of the very greatest teachers. Thanks for your insight!
I think the merging of the sexes began with the British Invasion in the late ‘60’s. Men’s fashions became feminized, hair styles merged, male make-up commonplace. Women’s Lib coerced men to abandon masculinity.
Many people, like you, are realizing that two distinct sexes can be not only be compatible but desirable.
Truth is truth. This is this. You're right, Douglas.
This is a wonderful piece of writing.
Thank you, sir. I appreciate your taking the time to read it.
Jenna,
You have an amazing talent to delve into a cornucopia of different subject matter & make each interesting. Regarding this particular essay, it is my opinion that many ‘media people’ (the so called experts, intellectuals, Hollywood etc.) lack ’family values.’ Have you ever noticed in the plot of many books, most movies & television shows — when the drama calls for a crisis or death situation there are rarely ‘family members’ in the scene’? I don’t believe this observation, if correct, is a positive example for men or families. And yet, this what the public experiences. One of your many excellent commentators, Mark Dowell, stated the issue well: “The “esprit de corps” you mention thrived in contexts we’ve systematically dismantled… Men learned to be men in the company of other men who had stakes in their success, not just as individuals but as fathers, neighbors, and community members.” Mr. Dowel’s statement is accurate & perfectly noted. We should all strive to set a good example — especially men.
Thank you Jenna, please keep up the great work — you matter.
Hi Jenna & Noah, I appreciate how Jenna’s writing is memorable and thought-provoking.
My next comment is outside the scope of Jenna’s piece, but I believe it relates to her broader point about the brotherhood of men - specifically how our society treats boys.
If we’re concerned about men learning to be men “in the company of other men,” we need to ask: what happens when boys aren’t allowed to be boys? When natural boyhood behaviors are increasingly pathologized, medicated, or discouraged? When the very traits that might lead to healthy masculine development - physical energy, risk-taking, competitive spirit, rough play - are systematically suppressed?
The erosion of male mentorship and community that Jenna describes so well may be compounded by our failure to nurture authentic masculinity from the beginning. Boys who aren’t permitted to develop naturally into young men will struggle to form the kinds of bonds and brotherhood that strengthen communities.
How boys are raised directly impacts the men they become - and therefore the strength of that “esprit de corps” Jenna writes about. It’s a topic worth exploring further. Thanks, Mark
Very good thoughts here, Mark. My oldest is almost four years old and it’s surprisingly hard to find “modern” books/stories that illustrate these more masculine virtues for boys. And I’m much more afraid of how he’ll meet society and culture when he enters the adult world than my daughter. There seems to be more complex things confronting kids now and equipping them with the tools to navigate this world is so important. Thank you, Mark.
Thank you. Mark is very wise as are you — and perceptive. I try my best even though it rarely works out for the better.
The Bible is my foundation and always shapes all of my worldview. This subject you write about today is, to me, yet another symptom of the spiritual emptiness and darkness we are in presently. We don't have our priorities straight. The apostle Paul gave us the prescription in Ephesians 5:21-33, and while this is a rather long passage I will quote from the NLT translation, it is all worthy of our attention:
"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.
31 As the Scriptures say, 'A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.' 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
It's amazing to me that we keep looking for "answers" in every single place except the one right in front of us. Over and over again. Thank you for reminding me of where to look first.
Superb writing and insight as I come to expect here. There's nothing to add, you're spot on!
Thank you so, so much. This is very kind of you.
Solid.. and a thorough compelling read.
Thank you, sir!
Disco still sux.
True!
It's very rare for me to feel "seen", I don't even like the word used this way but being understood doesn't quite cut it. Anyway, thanks. Wes
Thanks for this. I'm glad you connected with it on some level. It's all I could hope for.
You had me at the opening line of this piece, then pulled me right through. Jenna, this an echo chamber I enjoy being in. Further more, I watched 2hrs of The Deer Hunter last night. One more hr to go tonight. Steel mill towns, the men and woman of our country that do the dirty work and their families who share the suffering. Thank
You.
I'm so glad you connected with this, Donald. And that you're watching The Deer Hunter, a film that is overlooked these day but still represents a large part of working class America today. Thank you for reading (it's a slog!) and I appreciate your thoughts and taking the time to share them.
I don’t know how to get back the brotherhood, integrity, and reverence among men, that you’re speaking of. I hear so often from women, “Men are simple creatures,” and I wonder why that spills off their tongues so readily. Okay, for the 100th time, okay. So’s a guitar, but say that to Andrés Segovia or Jim Hall. What absolution do these women seek for seeming compelled to “like” men again, after a decade of dumping on them? Okay, well, I’ve taken this a step beyond what I’d originally intended. I always like that scene, “This is This,” named my magazine after it, because “this ain’t something else,” meaning, some values aren’t debatable, like killing a deer in one shot: some values are inalienably right and worthy.
I don’t have any answers.
I think you’re asking the right questions.
Men are around all right; but, the left has actively disparaged men, and now they are discouraged. The way back is for men to return to God, who restores a sense of worth and the strength to do the right thing. this is a wonderful column, Jenna!
Thank you, sir!